Skip to main content

Ditching the clingy BF!

Subtle ways to dismiss the overbearing, clingy partner.
You know it's over when you feel suffocated. That's what clingy guys do. They latch on feed off your energy and well, just suffocate you. This clingy-ness, can often leave you upset, irritated, sad or even physically drained. His constant phone calls and presence begin to take their toll on you and though you try and discuss it, you realise he isn't even bothered to listen, so him changing is a very distant thought.
What's worse is that he makes every effort you make to leave, wearing down your already weary mind. You know he's doing this but you can help but feel responsible. Here's where you should stay strongest. Deep down you know what you have to do, so just do it. Rip it out like a band aid.
When you're uneasy you must ask yourself these questions:
1) Is this cold feet or is he really a bad choice?
2) why do I feel suffocated?
3) Is he being manipulative? (Confirm with a girlfriend.
4) has this been happening for a while?
5) Does your gut say run and don't look back?
Once you have given it sufficient thought and discussed it with YOUR trusted friend, it's time to get the sneakers out and run. Here's how:
If your saying for less than a month you don't need a very strong reason to leave. He needs no explanation, just say it isn't working out and Bye. If he tries calling, you can pick ONCE say Bye it's not working out. Don't propose to still be friends  EVER.
If it's over two months a polite lunch in a crowded place should be fine. Avoid dinners, if he's clingy he'll insist on dropping you home. Do not do this at your apartment or his, things could get ugly, especially if he has a temper.
Write down what you'd like to say. When you rely on memory it puts the emotions out of the way. If you can't write stuff down say this.
"His name , I'm really sorry but it isn't working out. We're not the right fit. It's time we admit it."
At this point he'll give you a list of reasons it's great all of which suit him and not you. Remember that. And Reply, "it's just not working out for me" or "I can't do this anymore". And stick to this line u til the end, you don't owe any explanations if you think you'll be manipulated.
If you think he does deserve an explanation let him know but be prepared for a fight. Stick to your script don't be easily persuaded.
Stay strong . You will feel a load off your chest once you're done. Relief is such a victorious feeling.
Good luck.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Done & Disgusted

The bitterness before that happy ending energises you to strive #positivethinking For over three years I worked hard, I worked well and I worked silently for a company that wanted to grow and was growing and claimed to let you grow with it. The organisation seemed humble and people friendly at first but driven by ambition, at some point it decided to take each recourse money and people alike and squeeze out every last drop of value. The scales tilted and its demands lost all reasonable. The hard work lost its meaning and the promises they made were just a bunch of lies. I chose to walk away from exploitation, from being supresed and devalued. Too much was being taken away and too little given back. And all of that just amounted to a large pile of disgust. I'm done and disgusted and ready to run as far from it as I can.

Suddenly, I'm single

I've been single forever, and sadly this is no exaggeration. I was always happy to hold the arm of some other stag and dance away at a party. It was the perfect arrangement. You have fun, he has fun and you leave out all the serious stuff for later. I consciously didn't date anyone as I genuinely believed it was a waste of time. As selfish as it may sound, I decided to invest my time in myself. I read, I learned, I studied, I took up posts like youth group President and School Rep, and other seemingly important things. I volunteered with social organisations, supported causes, and in my free time, which I hardly had any , I would trek and runs and swim. I'd third wheel on my BFF's dates. And off course, karaoke and FOOD took up the rest of my life. So it seemed to me like I was having fun, and my life was complete. I had a good job a fancy enough degree and I was living a fun life. Then suddenly one day I woke up to the realisation that everyone around me was getting ...